Hello my friends,
I have been on such an emotional roller coaster. Hormones, I think. That and the stress of life's challenges. One thing I have done. is backed the whole thing up and started with a running jump. I put a lot of pressure on myself in that I know I need to change my life. Most people with some effort and concentration can make valuable changes. I, on the other hand, go completely numb and shut down. I end up accomplishing nothing. I need to lose about 200 pounds, I have gym equipment in my living room, I had a gym membership I rarely used and I have a wonderful programs that comes with one of the most wonderful support systems out there.What did I do with all this time that I had open to me to do what I want? I sat on my ample be-hind, ant junk food and cried. I have a nice little trailer home. I have been home for the last seven months, I didn't use the time for the gym, so my home must be spotlessly clean, right? Nope. It's a pig stye. Our home style is bad college dorm. I get a depression, a fear and real emotional block when I go to do house work. I get over whelmed. There is so much to be done. Not one part of our home is clean or in order. It feels like to do one job requires that I need to do another job before that and even one before that. I know "Whaaa-whaaa-whaaa!" Just do it. This place can be real cute.
Tomorrow I will try Toastmasters again. I can't imagine the restaurant will be closed again. I want to be able to add it to my resume. Tomorrow afternoon I will update my on line resume. I also need to contact agencies. Through all the scary stuff about not having a job or and income, the idea of starting a job is exciting. I need to stimulate my mind and meet people.I always say that everyone is my friend, I just haven't met everyone yet. I have really been cocooning myself. I sometimes get 'agraphobia'. I don't want to hide in my house, I just get afraid. I will say honestly, I could really use some mental health help. But, that is for people with jobs and or money. Paul's company insurance works with mental health, but we already have thousands of dollars in medical bills, Going back to my cervical cancer five years ago, through ER visits up to my slip and fall in the K-Mart a few months ago. Even though I have had a lawyer help me, I don't think I will ever see any money on that. I am not even going for the big "sue" I just asked for them to cover the bills. Bills, bills, bills! Job, job,job. What is ironic is that I would love to work in mental health and help people.I believe the sky is the limit once I get a boost up. Life is good. Life is worth the effort. Life is full of joy.
As I keep saying "What Happiness Next.
Peace Joy Love to all.
I have been on such an emotional roller coaster. Hormones, I think. That and the stress of life's challenges. One thing I have done. is backed the whole thing up and started with a running jump. I put a lot of pressure on myself in that I know I need to change my life. Most people with some effort and concentration can make valuable changes. I, on the other hand, go completely numb and shut down. I end up accomplishing nothing. I need to lose about 200 pounds, I have gym equipment in my living room, I had a gym membership I rarely used and I have a wonderful programs that comes with one of the most wonderful support systems out there.What did I do with all this time that I had open to me to do what I want? I sat on my ample be-hind, ant junk food and cried. I have a nice little trailer home. I have been home for the last seven months, I didn't use the time for the gym, so my home must be spotlessly clean, right? Nope. It's a pig stye. Our home style is bad college dorm. I get a depression, a fear and real emotional block when I go to do house work. I get over whelmed. There is so much to be done. Not one part of our home is clean or in order. It feels like to do one job requires that I need to do another job before that and even one before that. I know "Whaaa-whaaa-whaaa!" Just do it. This place can be real cute.
Tomorrow I will try Toastmasters again. I can't imagine the restaurant will be closed again. I want to be able to add it to my resume. Tomorrow afternoon I will update my on line resume. I also need to contact agencies. Through all the scary stuff about not having a job or and income, the idea of starting a job is exciting. I need to stimulate my mind and meet people.I always say that everyone is my friend, I just haven't met everyone yet. I have really been cocooning myself. I sometimes get 'agraphobia'. I don't want to hide in my house, I just get afraid. I will say honestly, I could really use some mental health help. But, that is for people with jobs and or money. Paul's company insurance works with mental health, but we already have thousands of dollars in medical bills, Going back to my cervical cancer five years ago, through ER visits up to my slip and fall in the K-Mart a few months ago. Even though I have had a lawyer help me, I don't think I will ever see any money on that. I am not even going for the big "sue" I just asked for them to cover the bills. Bills, bills, bills! Job, job,job. What is ironic is that I would love to work in mental health and help people.I believe the sky is the limit once I get a boost up. Life is good. Life is worth the effort. Life is full of joy.
As I keep saying "What Happiness Next.
Peace Joy Love to all.
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