This was one of those quiet days. Nothing really caught on today. I didn't accomplish anything. But that is OK. A lot of time just in deep thought. A few moments of tears, for no real reason. They just needed to come out. Time to sit back and breathe deep. I even took a nap. I'm lucky that I have this time at home. I'm trying to not get upset about money. The job search is still on, not too great but I have to believe it's out there. Or that there will be a way to work from home. As I keep saying is that I would love to go into public speaking. But I don't know what that would be. I am looking forward to getting to a Toastmaster meeting. I've already had a test trip.
Something I have been playing with lately is the chain around my neck. I have been wearing a gold crucifix. What I say now will upset some people. I understand why, just hear me out. In general I'm not a great fan of the crucifix. I understand and love the symbolism, but I had bad experiences as a child. Someone pointing to a particularly gruesome display and telling that was my fault. I'm sure they meant to tell me that Jesus died for me, and that is much more reassuring. The thought of hanging a dead body around my neck, and the fact is that I prefer to think of the risen Christ. I embrace the love of Jesus. If he hadn't risen, it would have ended there. Anyway the one I wear has a story. I used to live in the California Gold Country. I've even done some gold panning myself. While working in a mini mart I was wearing a silver plated cross that had tarnished badly. One of the customers overheard me talk about replacing it some day. He pulled this small gold crucifix with a silver figure of Jesus out of his pocket. He found it while panning for gold years before and had been carrying it in his pocket. He gave it to me. So, not only is it a wonderful gift with a great story, and a symbol of my faith but a sign to me of his good fortune to find it. Also of this strangers kindness and generosity to give it to me.
Also on the chain I wear a ring. It belonged to my Mom and my Step-Grandma before her. They were very close. More like Mother and Daughter then in-laws. Grandma passed the ring to Mom when she died. The ring came to me while my Mom was still alive. She wanted to be sure that it went to me and not someone who would not appreciate it. I put it way until she passed. Since then I have put it on a few times but it is a little snug. I could have it sized but one of the endearing things is that the band has cracked and there is a smear of solder where I can see my Step Dad sort of fixed it. So I wear them both around my neck
.
A quiet day introspection and thoughts ot things that matter to me.
Peace, Joy and Love to you all.
Something I have been playing with lately is the chain around my neck. I have been wearing a gold crucifix. What I say now will upset some people. I understand why, just hear me out. In general I'm not a great fan of the crucifix. I understand and love the symbolism, but I had bad experiences as a child. Someone pointing to a particularly gruesome display and telling that was my fault. I'm sure they meant to tell me that Jesus died for me, and that is much more reassuring. The thought of hanging a dead body around my neck, and the fact is that I prefer to think of the risen Christ. I embrace the love of Jesus. If he hadn't risen, it would have ended there. Anyway the one I wear has a story. I used to live in the California Gold Country. I've even done some gold panning myself. While working in a mini mart I was wearing a silver plated cross that had tarnished badly. One of the customers overheard me talk about replacing it some day. He pulled this small gold crucifix with a silver figure of Jesus out of his pocket. He found it while panning for gold years before and had been carrying it in his pocket. He gave it to me. So, not only is it a wonderful gift with a great story, and a symbol of my faith but a sign to me of his good fortune to find it. Also of this strangers kindness and generosity to give it to me.
Also on the chain I wear a ring. It belonged to my Mom and my Step-Grandma before her. They were very close. More like Mother and Daughter then in-laws. Grandma passed the ring to Mom when she died. The ring came to me while my Mom was still alive. She wanted to be sure that it went to me and not someone who would not appreciate it. I put it way until she passed. Since then I have put it on a few times but it is a little snug. I could have it sized but one of the endearing things is that the band has cracked and there is a smear of solder where I can see my Step Dad sort of fixed it. So I wear them both around my neck
.
A quiet day introspection and thoughts ot things that matter to me.
Peace, Joy and Love to you all.
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