Is there an upside to stressful days?

I feel like I'm running a marathon emotionally. I give my troubles to God to handle, but then I get thinking of them and I take them back from God as if I am afraid he isn't doing enough. God does things in his way and in his time. I wonder what people who don't believe in God do? As I have said I don't care what you believe, just be true to what ever "It" is. I feel I am a much more centered person for knowing that I am a child of God. That wasn't always the case. I had a wild, tough time in my life that even though I felt I believed in God I didn't feel He believed in me. I lived my life as if my soul didn't mater. I lived for fun. But through a few events and new people in my life, I realized things really weren't very fun. My daily life is much more stressful now. There are a lot more things I need to do and be, and I have more then just myself to worry about. But my existences is tremendously better.

I don' know how long I will have Internet access. If my phone gets shut off the Internet goes with it. Again, I have faith that something will happen. Either we will find a way to get the money, or the phone will be off and I will have to find some way to look for work. What ever the lesson will be, I will do my best to learn it. Sometimes I am my own worst road block. A while back I had set a goal to lose weight. I said "Nothing will stop me, not even myself" But, guess what happened. I blocked my own every move. It was easy to do, I always could tell what my own next move would be. My own enemy needs to be my own friend. If change was easy wouldn't we all be glorious beings? These are the lessons learned...or learning. Actually I embrace change. I love to see what is new and exciting. But unfortunately that easiness with change has enabled me to run away in the past. My game plan in the past for dealing with stress was to run away. I promised Paul, when we got married, that I am done running. I now run to him...and to Him.

Tomorrow I have an opportunity to start learning more about my religious culture. I am looking forward to it. I have studied so many different types of teachings and now I am back to my roots. I think a lot of what I have learned on this journey is a part of me and comes with me back home. I have a clue for some people. There is only one God. No mater how He is presented to you through human teachings...there is only ONE. It amazes me how wars are fought over this. The exact opposite of what I think God wants for us. God is love. Here is a little "tell tale" about me. If I have to sign a name and I don't want to use my own. I with use the last name Giati. That is actually an anagram for : God Is All There is. I will sometimes just doodle it. Or, I will put it on a sticky note as a reminder. It is the phrase I use to comfort myself and to bring myself back to center. I plan to tell more about that phrase at another time.

But what have a learned on this stress-filled day? I learned that I have a lot of loving support. Friends have been giving me words of encouragement all day. I used to think I should keep all my troubles all bottled up inside. It would be shameful if people knew I had problems. No one would like me it they knew what was going on in my life. I find that it is much better to share. That is what friends are for. I tell everyone I am looking for work, someone just might know of an opening. I tell friends my troubles, not so they will fix them but to give me a chance to release what weighs heavy on my heart. I would do the same things for any one. I pray for you, you pray for me. I am so happy to know that God has set this in place.

Peace, Joy Love and Happiness to all.<3