If you have gone through depression, like I have, you probably hate that statement. But, I can tell you that it very often is true. I don't mean to piss anyone off. I know that there are people who truly are depressed. Some people have chemical imbalances in the brain or other issues. My husband is one of them. I believe in medical intervention...when needed. I was sent to the doctor for depression. he gave me all kinds of medication to try, one after the other over a years time. Prozac gave me rages. Once I dropped my keys and went into a temper tantrum. I screamed "How can I be so useless that I can't even hold on to my keys?" I picked up the keys and threw them against the wall a few times just for good measure. Then I realized...OK, that wasn't good. I've been on Wellbutrin, Effexor and others. all with varying reactions and of little to no help. I don't remember which it was, but one turned me into a drooling zombie. I was sitting on the couch, watching TV. I dropped the remote and could not lean over and pick it up. I was certainly physically able, but my mind was disconnected from the ability to do it. I just sat there, drooling and crying. Again, not a good thing. I finally realized something about me and my life. I wasn't depressed. This is my big realization - If your life going along just fine, nothing is really that wrong, but you perceive it as very wrong and you can not pull out of the sadness - then that is depression. But sometimes, life does really just ...suck.
What happened to me was that I had made some very bad choices for my life and had allowed others to pull me into a very dark and dangerous place. By the way, allowing others to run your life is a choice. All the drugs in the world were not going to change that. In some cases, mostly the illegal drugs, make it a lot worse. You can include in here with 'drugs'..food, gambling, sex ... whatever you use to numb yourself. I used all of those and more. When I met my husband, I was very near the bottom. I tell him that he is my hero. He reached way down into the gutter and pulled me out. What he was doing coming down there into the gutter we will never know. I will tell you that letting good people help you is key to getting out. If there are toxic people in your life pulling you down. Get away from them. It is your life, don't let them rob you of it. It is your choice. No hiding behind excuses or blaming others for what you choose. Also, no hiding in a cloud of drugs. Bad childhood? Bad relationships? Loss of loved ones? Big bad scary world? Everyday is a new day to leave the past behind and make new choices.
I'm not kidding when I say. Make the right choice for your life. My husband and I work together on making the right choices for happiness. Not just me being happy, not just him being happy, but both of us together. Some days are better then others. I cry and feel sorry for myself sometimes. Now here is the other thing some people hate hear. Getting away from your stressors. Getting some fresh are, exercise (that scary word) and eating right really help. Some small changes can make huge differences. It is up to you. It is never too late to change your life and truly choose to be happy.
Peace, Joy and Love to you all.
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